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Post by Michael Allen on Mar 13, 2014 5:10:53 GMT -5
Michael pulled Pippa closer when he noticed how nervous she was. By now he was pretty much worried about what she'd have to tell him. When she started explaining that it was about something at home he winced. "I'm sorry I had to ask. I should've known that," he apologised quietly and embraced her tightly. Only, when she'd been made to go to the guidance counselor that didn't mean her father had died, right? He hoped so, but at the same time he wondered why she hadn't told him sooner that something was up. Of course she'd told him about her father's disease, but after that event he'd never heard anything about it again. And he sure wouldn't ask when it caused her pain.
At her next sentence Michael laughed a short humourless laugh, but didn't interrupt her. It seemed she had difficulties speaking about it, so he tried not to make it even more difficult. But to him it seemed like an understatement. Who wouldn't be 'a bit stressed' about something like this? Again he wondered why she felt the need to put on a tough face. She had every right to show how she felt about it.
Michael's face showed all his astonishment when she went on, saying that she'd lost weight and seemed to have difficulties eating. Of course he'd commented on her eating habits now and then, but he'd never thought it was really something serious. He felt a bit as if he'd been run over by a Hippogriff. He was seriously worried now. "What do ... what do you think ... Am I ... Why didn't you tell me sooner?" It seemed as if he had to try a hundred times before he finally got out one of the sentences he wanted to say. He didn't know what he was supposed to do now and what that guidance counselor expected of him. He just wanted for Pippa get back to normal again, but at the same time, perhaps that would only be a possibility when her father wasn't ill anymore. Sweetly, almost in a comforting manner he kissed her on the lips once. "I'm there for you, alright? I might not be the most intuitive about stuff like this, but I'm there for you... when you need me." He felt the need to tell her again after all of this and with her obviously feeling uncomfortable about it. He didn't know if it would help, but he sure hoped so.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 5:32:16 GMT -5
Pippa waved Michael off when he apologised for not picking up that her father might be the root of her problem. She didn’t expect him to think about these things all the time. Hell, she didn’t want to think about these things. She liked to put them out of her mind. Pretend that it wasn’t happening. That her mum was over reacting and her dad just had a bout of the cold. That she would be able to go home come graduation and not be devastated by the sight of her family. Florence still hadn’t returned from Paris. She had written Pippa telling her that her fiancé had gotten a job there. She didn’t know when they would be home. She knew that this wasn’t a coincidence. Flo had never been good at facing confrontation or hard times. Pippa wasn’t great at it either but she was the strong one. She still wanted to go home. She wanted to see her dad. Speak to the Healers. She wanted to know how bad it really was, and she would be able to understand their analysis. Her mum hadn’t written her back the last few times she had written her. That scared Pippa, more than she would like to admit. She felt her stomach clench at just the thought.
Pippa shrugged her shoulders when her boyfriend asked her why he hadn’t told her about any of this sooner. Honestly, she didn’t want to worry him. That and she liked to tell herself that this wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t important of effecting her life so why would she bother him with it? “I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” She told him. “I was dealing with it. I wouldn’t even have gone to see anyone if Freya hadn’t kept bothering me about it. It really isn’t a big deal. You know what it’s like, people make mountains out of molehills.” She told him, downplaying the situation as much to him as she did to herself. It made her feel better if she thought of it as some silly little thing that she was in control of.
Pippa felt tears fill her eyes at her beau’s sweet kiss and even sweeter words. She knew that he was there for her, of course she did. She just never quite knew the point where she needed to reach out for help. She liked to believe that she could handle everything on her own. For so long she only had Freya- and even then the girls hadn’t been so close as they became in her sixth and seventh year. Before that she had Flo, and she was just used to being alone. So far in her – near enough adult- life she had managed to heal anything that was broken herself- with only one or two exceptions. She felt helpless not being able to fix this herself. There wasn’t a quick charm that would heal her all better. It wasn’t that simple. Pippa leaned her forehead against her boyfriends. “I know.” That was the only reply she could give him. He would be there for her when she needed him. Now she just needed to work out when that was.
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Post by Michael Allen on Mar 13, 2014 6:01:33 GMT -5
Michael let the air escape his lungs when she said it wasn't a bit deal. "It doesn't have to be a big deal to tell me, you know. You can tell me anything. You know I won't get involved when you're dealing with it on your own. Just let me in, Pippa. Please," he all but begged. He wanted to know everything about her. Even if he wasn't particularly good at talking about those things or giving advice, he wanted to know what happened in his girlfriend's life. And this was an even bigger event than 'hey, my quill snapped in two in class today' which he wanted to know about too. It wasn't stalking her, he didn't force her to tell him, because who could force Pippa? He just wanted to take part in her life.
When he saw Pippa close to tears a worried look appeared on his face again. He didn't really know what had caused them all of a sudden and so he didn't know what to do about it. "Good," he replied relieved as she said that she knew he was there for her. "You just need to say the words. Just tell me." He leaned back against the couch more comfortably and placed Pippa's head on his shoulder, his fingertips ghosting over her face. For a moment he closed his eyes. What the hell was he supposed to do? Pippa was obviously suffering, but what was he to do when she didn't allow him to help. "I don't really know what to do, so should we change the subject or is there more to it?" he asked hesitantly. He didn't want to give her an easy escape route but also didn't want to make her uncomfortable by not speaking.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 6:37:13 GMT -5
Pippa nodded when her boyfriend claimed that something didn’t have to be a big deal for her to talk to him about it. “I know. But I didn’t want to make you worry over nothing.” She told him, forcing a smile onto her face. She reached out and stroked his face. “I let you in.” She whispered. “I’m telling you now, amn’t I?” She was trying. The eating thing scared her. She didn’t think that she had an eating disorder, though. Not really. She didn’t have any kind of body image issues. If anything she wanted to gain weight. She didn’t starve herself, or deliberately refrain from eating. She just wasn’t hungry. And when she tried to eat she felt queasy. Queasy nauseated and sometimes she would even vomit. Keeping food down shouldn’t have been so hard.
Pippa reached out to stroke Michael’s face. He was handling this much better than she thought he would. Half of her expected him to be out the door before she could even finish telling him about it. She didn’t know why, he had never indicated that he would leave her. Just an underlying level of insecurity. She felt so alone sometimes, and worried. Her mum wouldn’t write her back, Flo refused to talk about anything serious. It was almost as though they were pretending that it wasn’t happening. It was happening. “It scares me sometimes.” The words were out of her mouth before she could think, or take them back. It was the most honest thing she had told him regarding the situation.
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Post by Michael Allen on Mar 13, 2014 6:56:29 GMT -5
"I'd rather worry over nothing then, if I have a say in that," he told her honestly as she confessed that she hadn't wanted him to worry when there was nothing to worry about. He just didn't want it to be too late one day, that something would become a far bigger problem because they hadn't shared it sooner. "You're telling me now because that guidance counselor made you, Pippa, that doesn't count." He wasn't really scolding her as he was really glad that she did tell him now. He just wanted her to see that one could see it differently as well and that he hoped that she wouldn't need someone to force her again when it came to telling him things.
Michael turned his head to her when she admitted to be scared. He pulled her up to be able to look at her properly. A sad look was on his face once again. He didn't really know how to react to that. It hadn't sounded so serious what she'd told him so far. "What scares you? What can I do?" he asked just as quietly but a bit confused. Was there more to her problem which she hadn't told him yet? If she was scared maybe her friend Freya had been right to send her to see the guidance counselor, as much as Michael didn't want to admit that. He moved her on his lap so that she was straddling him and he could look her straight in her eyes. Carefully he stroked along her cheek, waiting, hoping, for her to speak.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 7:28:35 GMT -5
Pippa nodded when Michael said that he would rather have a choice as to whether or not he could worry over nothing. She nodded, resolving to herself to be more open with him. She felt a blush hit her cheeks as he scolded her. Calling her out on the fact that she was only telling him because Aiden made her. That was partially true… but even still she didn’t have to tell him. She could have gone to Freya… or someone, or something. Pippa hid her face against his chest. Bully. “Technicality.” She muttered against his shirt front.
The admission was out before she could call it back and she felt a little embarrassed at it. It made her feel like a child. She was meant to be an adult who could deal with her fears herself. She heard him asking what it was and what he could do, adjusting her so that she couldn’t hide from him, their eyes were linked. He was stroking her face. “You can’t really help.” She told him honestly, her voice still soft. “It all just feels so out of my control. Dad’s sick, mum won’t write me back, Flo refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong and I can barely keep a meal a day down and I don’t know what to do about it. Before now I’ve been able to fix anything I needed to.” She admitted to him. “I don’t know how to fix this and it scares me.”
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Post by Michael Allen on Mar 13, 2014 12:55:19 GMT -5
Michael chuckled a bit despite the sad atmosphere their meeting had taken on as she hid her face against his chest. Well, what he'd said seemed to have been true. He put his arms around her again and rubbed her back comfortingly. "You're incredible, Pippa," he said teasingly, trying to lighten her mood a bit and hoping to coax a bit more out of her this way.
He listened intently as she explained her problem to him. He was at a loss as to what he should do. But she'd told him already that he couldn't really help her, too. Only he didn't like her being this miserable. For a few minutes he didn't say anything, just continued the stroking movement of his hand. "How about we go and eat something now? Or you could just come and sit with me. Because I'm hungry." He wasn't sure if it would work, but maybe he could coax Pippa into eating at least a bit. And he really was hungry. All this stressful talk had went straight to his stomach. And it wasn't as if they couldn't as well talk there while eating. He couldn't do anything about her family, but perhaps he could try and give her comfort away from her family. That was really all he could do.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 14:25:56 GMT -5
Pippa was enjoying the comfort of him being there. Lately he was the closest thing she had. Her family were no longer the close unit they used to be, but she had Michael. Michael was there and she was going to be fine. She snuggled close to him, ignoring his words, but allowing his scent to wash over her and keep her calm.
She couldn’t help but chuckle at how he responded to her explaining why she was scared. Food. Men’s answer to everything. She could do with something to eat. She hadn’t eaten enough thus far that day. Her food diary was looking pretty scarce. She had had a bit of toast that morning and an apple at lunch. She hadn’t eaten dinner in her excitement to see Michael. So she was fine with him changing the subject and dragging her off to the kitchens. Or the great hall, she wasn’t 100% sure if dinner had finished yet or not. Pippa nodded her head and kissed her boyfriend softly on the lips. It was brief, sweet. It was her way of saying thank you. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Hugging him for one moment more. “Ok. Food sounds doable.” She told him, making no move to get up and off his lap. She was comfortable, and while she knew she should eat she wasn’t really hungry. She could cope with bothering him for a bit longer. Though Michael wasn’t much of a dilly dallier. This was one of those occasions where Pippa wouldn’t really mind if he ‘took her prisoner’ to get her where he wanted her.
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Post by Michael Allen on Mar 14, 2014 13:40:40 GMT -5
Michael smiled at her chuckle. Well, obviously his suggestion to go and eat something wasn't the worst thing he could've said. At least not judging by the short, sweet kiss she gave him. He was a bit confused however as she wrapped her arms around his neck while saying that food would be a good idea. When she was hugging him they couldn't go and get food. So he just gathered her hair and twirled it around his hand, then letting it go and placing it on her back. As she still made no signs of getting up he let his hands wander, pulling up her shirt the tiniest bit at her back and letting his fingertips graze the skin there for a few moments. There was no question that he was happy with just being with Pippa for a moment and being close to her, but sometimes he didn't really understand her. Didn't she just agree to his suggestion of getting food? He kissed her head, before he tried to look at her without moving her away from him. "Pippa? Did you fall asleep?" he asked teasingly even though he knew she had to be awake.
Michael shrugged his shoulders and scooted to the edge of the sofa to place his feet almost underneath his body to be able to get up with Pippa in his arms. He changed his hold on her, pulling her legs on one side of him and pushing his arm under her knees, the other arm staying behind her back, then got up. "You didn't give me another choice," he told her before she could protest and laughed. He liked carrying her. Because he could.
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