Post by juliet on Mar 7, 2013 22:10:07 GMT -5
I'M SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW
Sorry it's so long! Tried to give you enough info so you can see things from both POV's and I tried to keep it light.
Whore: A prostitute.
Slut or slattern: an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous.
Prude: A person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity. More or less a Virgin who wont give it up.
Okay so now that you all have a little vocabulary lesson let me tell you a bit about myself that some of you may not know.
* Proud Virgin
* Had one boyfriend, and that was five/six years ago so when I was like 10/11
* Talked to one guy who wanted very much so to take my V card and I turned him down every time.
* Whenever I find out a guy likes me I push them away by acting like a bitch or just rarely talk to them until their interests move elsewhere because I'm afraid.
* I get really awkwarded out when people talk about sex because I've never done it so I change the subject because it's like well....alrighty then, I'll just sit here while you chat about your sex life because I can't give you any input.
* I'm really outgoing and always tease people because I find it funny, especially when they tease back and it's like a fun mini argument that's not really one. I do this with both guys and girls. This can be received as 'flirting' but it's NEVER my intention, in fact if you tell me, 'Hey Morgan go flirt with that guy' I will straight up, no lie, tell you that I don't know how to. (As sad as it is XD)
Okay now that you know a bit of info about me, let me give you some background information...
BACKGROUND: I was best friends with this girl named Paige in our Freshmen year, we were so close! She told me about her stories and I'd give her my input, and we'd talk about things that I'd never share with anyone because I trusted her and vise versa. We agreed on many things, which is great to have in a friendship. We were inseparable basically.
One day I heard this person call me a slut, I didn't do anything about it because I hate confrontation so I just walked on. It bugged me so much because I was confused, 1. I didn't dress provocatively, 2. I didn't know how to flirt. 3. Guys weren't following me around everywhere and I wasn't dating a lot of people. So I went to Paige to get an outside opinion and she's like, 'Your not a slut! Who ever said that is stupid, I mean your a little flirty with your guy friends but it's just your personality' (REMEMBER THIS) more or less that is what she said. This made me feel loads better especially when I asked others opinions.
So Junior year comes around still as close as ever and she introduce's me to her friend Jesse and we hit it off right away. I didn't like him like that AT ALL, he was cute yes, but to me he wasn't boyfriend material. Basically to me, and everyone else, he was like the boy version of me, and we acted like those perfect siblings you see on TV all the time. Paige told me she liked him and I'm like JUMP HIS BONES GO FOR IT! She didn't at first, but because I'm so damn good at giving Dr. Phil advice (when I really know you and stuff it's like WHOA have your own TV show, not just my opinion btw) and that I metaled so much even when she told me not to did they get together. Everything was perfect, they were cute and adorable and I was on cloud nine I was so happy for them.
I only saw Jesse whenever I went over her house and he happened to be there, so it wasn't like we were good friends...It was weird I don't know how to describe it except that we acted like we had been friends forever because we just connected you know, like I said he is the Boy version of me, it's quite sad. Any who, so we would constantly poke fun at each other and tease each other because we don't have censors when it comes to it, trust me if there is something to tease you for I will take it (unless I don't know you then I keep my mouth shut). I'm also VERY ticklish which everyone finds funny, you can't poke me without me having a spaz attack. Jesse found this out and tickled me to get something out of my hand and I kicked him in the shin and left a lovely bruise (no regrets), A LOT of my friends do this so it's not like it was just him. And yes it seems bad but trust me it was all innocent on both of our parts, he does the exact same thing with Missy, Paige, Olivia, and Andrea, and his guy friend Jon. He is a hyper fool and so and I so it's like bad when we were together. But Paige and anyone who was over would always laugh and egg us on. Plus he was ALWAYS there whenever I went over so it was like normal.
A year later and the two were still going strong! I went with them to Prom, was dateless and honestly it was the best time of my life don't be a wuss and stay home for being dateless you will regret it. Any who, then Homecoming for our Senior year came rolling by and again was single and had just as much fun as everyone else, actually I lied my best friend, who was also single, Olivia was my date, and let me just say we were the cutest ones there Nothing seemed wrong, everyone was having a good time, Jesse and I went at it once or twice and Paige and everyone laughed and called us goofs, so it was a normal night.
Then comes Paige's birthday this was in December. Jesse was acting depressed and out of it, and me being a caring friend asked him what was wrong but he just totally blocked me out and continued to fiddle with his phone, texting Missy (I didn't know this at the time). I asked Paige about it and she said she didn't know (LIE) and walked away. I had a good time but I was sad that my friend was sad so it wasn't as fun as it should have been.
So weeks go by and at first I didn't notice anything was wrong until Jeff asked if I was going to Paige's tonight, and I looked at him confused and said I wasn't invited. Talk about Awkward let me tell you. We didn't hang out at all nor did she talk to me.
I get a text about a month later from Paige telling me what was wrong, she also said she didn't plan on telling me at all but Missy convinced her to tell me why she suddenly dropped me.
What was wrong: Apparently Jesse and I were flirting and Paige didn't like it. Paige wasn't the only one who thought this, her cousin, Mary, and Jeff (all who were at the birthday party thought so). I immediately felt embarrassed and apologized saying I didn't know how to flirt and it was just my personality, that I was sorry she precevied it that way, that I would try to tone it down when ever he was at the house. I told her that I saw him as a brother, annoying at times but fun to hang with. And she went I don't understand how you guys could be so close when you only talk when your at my house, and I said it was just that we had the same personalities so it was easier to click. She still didn't get this but dropped it and said, 'no I understand that you don't know how to flirt and it was just your personalities I just don't want you to talk any more because it hurts to see you two together, because he told me you were pretty before and then he acts like that. It's just too much.' Also she said she was jealous because I was pretty and skinny and stuff. I was confused beyond belief I'm like you only told him about the issue, you didn't even tell me about it until now, how do you know it wont work? she said because of the way we acted during her birthday party, (we poked fun like twice before he got a glance from her) that was her testing him, to see if he could stop and he didn't. And I was like of course it wouldn't work hun, I didn't know about it, Jesse's not the type of guy to be mean to someone without telling them why. Lets just try it again now that both of us know. And she was like no it wont work.
and I took it because again it takes A LOT for me to get mad and to confront a friend about it, so I took it and kept quite. Missy and andrea and Olivia yelled at me, not really yelled but went UGHHH WHy would you do that? and I would vent to them and Jeff about it at the table because I needed someone to talk to about it. I get a text from her saying 'Don't talk to other people about our situation when I'm not there, if you have a problem tell me not say it behind my back' turns out Jeff told her because he was a gossip girl but I wasn't mad at that I was mad about how she reacted because I knew she was talking to people about it too and it was like wow hypocrite much? but again I took it and bit my tongue and apologized.
But we stopped talking after that, like I didn't want to talk to her anymore because I was just sick of it and it wasn't even like we were friends anyways because she didn't invite me to her house or to hang because Jesse would be there so not only did I loose one friend I lost another. Like I understand a little bit, it did look like we were flirting but she even said, 'No i understand it's just your personalities' so why were we being punished for being who we are? Jesse even told her that so it wasn't just me saying it.
Then in Art class I see Jesse's brothers painting on the wall and I'm in awe because it's so good. So I pull out my phone because I knew I'd forget to message him on FB I text Jesse and tell him these exact words. 'Hey saw your brothers painting in the art room, tell him I said it was really good,' No reply I shrug it off expecting it you know because Paige threatened him with a breakup if he spoke to me. I got no such threat from her so I didn't feel it was a problem especially since it wasn't about jesse, wasn't flirty or anything. And yet I still get the response 'Don't fucking text my boyfriend. Delete his number now' I didn't argue and deleted it.
So the end of the year comes strolling around and its the last day Paige dropps something in the hallway and I help her pick it up, we haven't talked in MONTHS by the way, I joke with her so it's not awkward and she hugs me....feeling awkward I hug her back. She mutters the words I'm sorry. And of course my brain takes a moment to ultimately fail on me out of pure shock and I say I'm sorry too, why I don't know, felt like something I should say at the time haha. Find out a few days later that Missy asked Paige what she was sorry for, because I was dumb and didn't ask. and Paige said NOthing, I just didn't want to leave it like that......ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I mean I know I said it to, and didn't mean it, so I shouldn't be mad but I still was.
Any who now were on to a year with out talking btw. I still hate her for what she did.
YESTERDAY/TODAY: My phone did something really really weird and gave me ALL my old contacts back, every single one I deleted because I didn't talk to them anymore came strolling back into my contacts list. I deleted them all, after a long time of going threw them and came across Jesse's number. I felt like I didn't have closure with him, which sucked because we were friends once, so I felt obligated to send him a goodbye text telling him how I felt about everything and how I was honored to be his friend, since I was robbed of that chance before. This is what I wrote exactly:
Okay so here's a not so funny story. I actually deleted your number a year ago and out of no where all my old contacts came back today, probably because it automatically backs those things up but still... I was going to delete your number along with all the various numbers I got rid of today but something held me back. I need colsure with you, a real one...So this is me saying goodbye to you, while being truthful about everything. You were such an amazing friend Jesse, and I miss you, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. When we were no longer allowed to be friends I was very upset, there were so many things that happened that made me think BAHA Jesse would Die if I tagged him in this Meme, or if someone said something that reminded me of you, like ghosts XD. anyways thank you for being an awesome friend and making me laugh at paiges when I was down, It meant a lot. And I'm sorry if by texting you I'm getting you in trouble with her but I had to get this off my chest. And I'm sorry but you need to stand up to her and not let her insecurities get in the way of your friendships. At this rate you wont have any girls that are friends. I don't know why your so afraid to stand up to her and be like their my friends back off. Your a catch and she's lucky to have you. Never forget that. I may be wrong to mention it seeing as how it's been a year since I talked to her, but I'm hoping she's better than she was before about her insecurities getting in the way of your friendships. I hate how things ended between us and know were no longer allowed to talk so I don't expect us to be friends. Just know I miss you and that no matter what I'm always here for you. Thanks for being a good friend, even if we only hung out whenever we were both at Paiges XD xxxMorganxxx
Should also mention at Senior prom he barley talked to ANY of Paiges girlfriends only talked to her. Now I know I should have mentioned Paige but Like I said I was being honest about everything, because I felt like it was my last chance to say anything. Also, I said I didn't want to start anything. P.S. re-writing what you wrote on your phone is a bitch.
His response:
I'm sry morgan but she didn't ruin it. I choose to fix my wrong and make it up to her. She has insecurities because of what people have done to her and I added to it. She is perfect the way she is. We shouldn't have been flirting and I'm still trying to make it up to her. Thank you for the time as a friend but I'm choosing to fight for her. Goodbye.
That one wasn't as bad as mine was re-writing it wise. But first things first...Me and Missy both thought he was an ass for saying that. Are we wrong to think so? Like I thought he'd be all 'I miss you too but this is the way things are, I love her and I want to be with her even if that means we can't be friends' but nope he didn't. He basically said I didn't want to be friends with you, I choose someone who tells me who I can and can't be friends with based on how insecure she feels. AND he also said he was flirting with me, which confuses me cause he said he wasn't and I know I sure as Hell wasn't. When I read that text my image of him shattered, I thought it was just her that made us stop being friends, which I know it was, but the fact that he just implied that he thought of the idea too made me mad! But I digress this isn't why I'm pissed the fuck off.
Today my friend Missy went on twitter and found a series of texts written by Paige, She blocked me so I can't see them..
First tweet:
So thankful I have an amazing boyfriend <3
Cute right!? Not bad at all! Just wait... It was also time stamped at the same time I received his text. Missy took pictures of it btw.
Once a whore, always a whore. Fucking floored right now.
That was last night as well.
and my favorite...
SO glad this slut is out of my life. Even though she already was for a year. You're done ruining my relationship <3 He doesn't want you
That was earlier today around noon.
Ummm I don't think my text implied that I wanted him cause I didn't, I fucking said goodbye, yes I said I missed him but that's it, not that i wanted him back in my life or anything just that wow this situation sucks, it is what it is, miss you, but this is goodbye...apparently she didn't get that... Also I'd like to point out a few facts about her.
* Dated EVERY guy she was friends with. Thought about sleeping with them all.
* only slept with Jesse but talks about it constantly and loudly.
Whore: A prostitute.
Slut or slattern: an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous.
Prude: A person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity. More or less a Virgin who wont give it up.
It just doesn't make sense....
Was I in the wrong to text him?
Was she right?
Help. Wont be pissed for honest opinions loll it helps me grow! XD
EDIT: I don't think Paige is a Slut/whore btw, I never would say that but its like she does 'worse' (nothing bad obviously but more than me) and she calls me that...it's like wow...